When I was/will be (The Game)

5 - 50 - 55- 100

Even here, dice thrown will never annul chance. I was upset when they defined the LARP as ‘suspicious, inauthentic, and the province of the enemy.’ Perfectly good words already exist, NARC, double-agent, mole, shady, a bad actor, liar, loser, creep, spy, interloper, traitor, and on and on. Instead, they chose double-speak defining ‘one who live-action role-plays’ as inauthentic, someone to be mistrusted, player of ‘bad-games’. Although I made fun of Scavians, I was not only sympathetic but a member of a neighboring tribe and defined live.action.role.players as those who actively explore who they are using open-source (instinctual) tools. Even the nerds have been weaponized. The nausea, I experienced was a direct result of the framing of role-playing as a tool only for a technocrat-class of pseudo-rationalists who flag-plant their ‘no-game game’ further colonizing ‘authenticity.’ Try to remember we are indigenous to the authentic-uncertainty, and not the players moved by the robotics of the invisible hand. In my experience @56, no one who believes with authoritarian certainty they don’t play games is trustworthy. Of course, I could be wrong.
“Now you roll the dice — OK I see 33, but since I get to role-play the roll, I’m going to choose 55 to go with the theme. Now find an ‘Ordinary Mind Lexicon', It’ll have words like, ‘Street, Crossroads, Mother, Father, Friends, Love, Anger, Rice, Hate, Peanuts, Fear, Hotdog, Lunch, No, Negative, Bark, Bell, etc in it. If you can’t find one, write it up.”

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Now select an ordinary-mind word. I picked ‘love.’ Now, play the game with me; Role-play what love means to you at 55. My answer looks something like this: Tracy, Tessa, Brother, Dharma, Omolu, DOC CONCRESCENCE LLC, friends, my life (most of the time)… Really do it. spend some time with it. remember no-one will ever read it. Not even me, unless I’m in no-one mode. Your answers will be different and if you’re feeling particularly secret-agent like peek: A reader is writing “Sinn, Poppy, Penny, The River…” Sorry, sorry I promised not to look. Anyhow, when you're done reroll the dice and do the same word or words (It’s up to you.) Like above @05: Mamina, Daddy, Maat, Didi, Elison Park, my superhero toy. Make sure your paying attention to the inner state, that’s where the juice is, the rest is just words.
Now f you want to bring it back to another whole level when you roll snake-eyes, Mu, No-Negation,00 or 100 you can do a POV from when you were 100 OR what as Homeless Kodo would suggest, play it as if you're the Buddha(because we are): ‘LOVE’ /You hold up:

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Much Love,

Con/Jur/d