Trauma Dialects (Sunday Sundries)

4/28/2024 Big Dreams

Been hiding

Big Dreams
Con/Jur/d, 4/28/2024

When we were younger
freshman in college, there were
big dreams, being a werewolf
hormones raging, leaving of home
rejection, pariah, sharing a room 
with strange male funkiness, we can't
remember what it was like, living
among strangers, we didn't know 
and never learned to care about
took some time but in retrospect
it was instantaneous, when we met 
other's put down new and chosen
roots, although we were always
a sucker for anyone
who chose to like us

Now, 40 plus years later
dream of becoming a tree
less mobile, less sexy
deeper roots, a collective
biome reaching through time
and space, who considers half
a century as barely time to grow
the fuzz which in 1000 years
will be the first layer of topsoil
not even a loam, a terroir
worth calling home 

Spent yesterday, in small
movie dreams, feeling
Spring’s green

growing leaves.

AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE

The Trauma Dialect
4/28/2024, Con/Jur/d

Did you have trauma growing up
she said, ‘cause I’ve never heard
anyone talk about drugs, the way 
you do, and the therapist says
neurodivergence leads to trauma
and we speak funny, because 
the way our neurons get trimmed
by regular bedtimes, educational
expectations, processed and
unprocessed foods, the unknown
effects of microplastics, and other 
effects of culture bodily violations
somatic operations without consent
herd logics, on animals bred to be
independent, reliant on dysregulation
a particular familiar stress, which 
we are taught if not normal, at least

normative -- and we’ve all heard
seen, felt the stories of indigenous 
cultures, land people, nomads, 
First Peoples, and their initiations
the binding to people and place, the
morning seen sleepless from the
other side, the universal, see how it    is

You belong, still true, but now ad
executive, technocrats, recruiters

determine your worth, how you belong
where you rank, bottom, top, anomaly

Anomaly, eliminated 
the bits that don’t fit               carved
off, and somewhere, somewhen the you
sitting above and below and sideways
from your events, your experiences and

THE STORY

you tell, to tie it together, remembers
and gives you a flavor, an accent
a dialect, so we can tell, we can see
we can feel, how you’ve been hurt 
and how you overcame it, and how
we’re  bigger than our small stories
bigger than where we’ve come from
and how we got here, bigger 
than the stories they’ve told us

Where’s dialect from?

Always, right here
right now.

O YES!

Much love,

Con/Jur/d, 4/28/2024