Big Dreams Con/Jur/d, 4/28/2024 When we were younger freshman in college, there were big dreams, being a werewolf hormones raging, leaving of home rejection, pariah, sharing a room with strange male funkiness, we can't remember what it was like, living among strangers, we didn't know and never learned to care about took some time but in retrospect it was instantaneous, when we met other's put down new and chosen roots, although we were always a sucker for anyone who chose to like us Now, 40 plus years later dream of becoming a tree less mobile, less sexy deeper roots, a collective biome reaching through time and space, who considers half a century as barely time to grow the fuzz which in 1000 years will be the first layer of topsoil not even a loam, a terroir worth calling home Spent yesterday, in small movie dreams, feeling Spring’s green growing leaves.
The Trauma Dialect 4/28/2024, Con/Jur/d Did you have trauma growing up she said, ‘cause I’ve never heard anyone talk about drugs, the way you do, and the therapist says neurodivergence leads to trauma and we speak funny, because the way our neurons get trimmed by regular bedtimes, educational expectations, processed and unprocessed foods, the unknown effects of microplastics, and other effects of culture bodily violations somatic operations without consent herd logics, on animals bred to be independent, reliant on dysregulation a particular familiar stress, which we are taught if not normal, at least normative -- and we’ve all heard seen, felt the stories of indigenous cultures, land people, nomads, First Peoples, and their initiations the binding to people and place, the morning seen sleepless from the other side, the universal, see how it is You belong, still true, but now ad executive, technocrats, recruiters determine your worth, how you belong where you rank, bottom, top, anomaly Anomaly, eliminated the bits that don’t fit carved off, and somewhere, somewhen the you sitting above and below and sideways from your events, your experiences and THE STORY you tell, to tie it together, remembers and gives you a flavor, an accent a dialect, so we can tell, we can see we can feel, how you’ve been hurt and how you overcame it, and how we’re bigger than our small stories bigger than where we’ve come from and how we got here, bigger than the stories they’ve told us Where’s dialect from? Always, right here right now.
Much love,
Con/Jur/d, 4/28/2024
I was reminded of this, which I mean as high praise
https://youtu.be/QsGTqVJLmD8