The air feels leaden — odd sensations come and go — everything has a greasy kinetic tactility — the way a battery terminal feels before a jump start
We make desperate — sad — jokes about giant drinks
You would drop — even suppress this feeling — but are unsure what it is
It moves through your blood like the oncoming — indeterminacy — of a new and unknown drug which we are assaying
It moves through you like the onset of an unknown drug
And suddenly — as if there was no warning — we are possessed the thoughts and feelings are not our own
What we thought of as a singular — a gestalt we labeled as us — just the way we ‘are’ — breaks off — becomes a part — changes from subject to object
And what we thought of as separate — the butt of our jokes — is now the same field — another limb of ourselves — we foolishly mocked — were frightened by — made threats against — now moves as an extension of us
We try and explain it — We can’t — We know — however — we will never be the same
