See no evil

7/21/2022 Nothing changes without changing ourselves

Been drinking a little too much kava lately

Years ago — I realized most of us don’t want to transform — we just want to disappear — This has nothing to do with Nietzchian's ‘Will towards death’

Maybe we intuit how much more there is — something our culture of wasted attention tends to deny — Personally — I think Stone Junction says it clearly:

“Let's get really fucked up and full of sentimental despair and then finally decide life, despite every heartbreak and anguished cry, is worth each pulse and breath.” “Why are the ones who are too good to be true always being true to someone else?” “The mind is the shadow of the light it seeks.”

Or better yet:

“The mind is a glass floor.
The mind is the spirit’s tear.
The mind is our prior and subsequent ghost.
The mind is the Bullion Express and the blood on the tracks.
The mind is a stone door.
The silver on the backs of mirrors.
The wave that defines the coast.
It’s what the drunk grave robbers couldn’t stuff in their sacks.
The mind is the sum of all and more.
The spasm between one and zero in the Calendar of Black-Hole Years.
The contract between the lash and the whipping post.
A quilt of dreams stitched with facts.
A meaningless argument among whores.
Rain that keeps falling when the sky clears.
A masquerade party, guest and host.
A candlelit landscape of puddled wax.
The mind is what thought is for.
The parking lot at the Mall of Fears.
The fire-pit for the piggy roast.
What the soul surrendered and won’t take back.
The mind is neither either nor or.
The real center of an empty sphere.”
― Jim Dodge, Stone Junction

After a two-week break — I decided to get to the gym — only to register for a class and a few hours later get this notice:

I suspect a new surge

The retreat starts tomorrow — I think it’s what I need

Much love,

Con/Jur/d, 7/21/2022