Failing That Con/Jur/d, 4/20/2021 Part 1 Before she told me “You’re like a car whose engine fails the minute you’re up to speed” the sports psychologist who I thought ‘never-in-a million-years’ would we be friends read me an ode to failed potential, the curse it was to have it, not earn it, by beat- ing against the same wall until it collapses, under the influence of will, perseverance, sheer bull-headedness, and I realized we were friends after all, although, we have given up on that, because as-you-can-see, it’s not as easy as it seems to remove ‘that’ as a con- junctive, for that-clauses, sometimes I don’t want to even try. Failing that, it should be obvious we couldn’t carve up the past, like a Thanksgiving turkey, served by bitter arguing puritans, inducting us into a world where children only get the dark-sinewy-avian-flesh because it builds character, creates obstacles to joy, and helps replicate the dark magic, needed to survive, on this rough rock, hints of paradise hewn from its surface, removed and repackaged, sold as a mortician’s gift, for a select few, granted post-mortality boons. Luckily we fail, to believe that, brandishing potentials like a sword or a plowshare, against implacable myths of our youth, until broken, shattered, failed we stumble into what is. Part 2 CRASH. I need, to apologize, I don’t but I will, since after 20 poems in as many days, I have become inebriated by words, I failed to remain under the limit, I’m fail - ing to capture the silence implicit in a well crafted SOUND, I’ve failed to celebrate failure, I’ve let you down. I know I don’t deserve it, I’ve left wall crumbles, and muddied stones, fresh-turned from hard-packed earth all over you plus metaphors so twist ed, they SCREAM waking the neighbors, spoiling enjoyment, a high handed moral SHOUT, but if you could, and why not? Why should I do all the heavy lifting? Can’t you see my legs buckling under the burden of LANG UAGE? Stop LAUGH ING! If you could, take a look at all those failures, all that wasted potential, all those poor - ly planned lines, and all the consequences of everything that failed, that brought you here, to this unexpected moment, a bonus track past the expected ending into this GLORIOUS DIVINE NOW
As y’all can see, I should lay down. Feeling unsteady on my feet, I haven’t even had the shot yet!