On the 7th day

9/22/2023 3 Surgical endoscopies, 7 pints of blood later, released back into the wild

I was joking, like the ‘legally insane’ defense after taking LSD 7 times — after 7 bags of blood — they legally became a vampire — these were taken while ingesting bag 7

Spotify created a lovely playlist for my recovery below

We Learn Nothing
“ I am capable of learning nothing from almost any experience, no matter how profound.”
― Tim Kreider, We Learn Nothing
Con/Jur/d, 9/22/2023


We use an app
                         to record our zazen
and we're  trying
                              to decide the fate
of Friday
               when they were the worst
when the hand of Death
                                           reached thru
the center of us
                            grabbed everything
and pulled
                   the sweating the collapsing

THE BLACKHOLE AT THE CENTER

There goes
swirling away
the caffeine habit
the nicotine preference
the piles of papers
the wives
the partners
the mothers
the fathers
the daughters
the brothers
the debts
the promises
fulfilled and unfulfilled
the good
the bad
the done
the undone
the practice
the doubt
the sticky certainties

PLEASE PLEASE HELP

and we're back
                           beaten and bothered

WHAT WAS THAT?
                                  We ask

The rapid loss of blood combined with freefall
blood-pressure  failed to provide enough oxygen 
to your brain, and so
                                  Not that!
What?
           We can't answer

Maybe you can?
                                       
Since we didn't record it
                                           and certainly didn't intend it
does it count?

Recorded the morning before the night Tracy was forced to call 911 — Ie recorded the dark shadow that kept hovering — flying — marking territory — on the street while I sat zazen

Much, much. much, LOVE, to y’all

Con/Jur/d, 9/22/2023