Hard to maintain if you're bored by our stories
4/4/2025 WARNING: SPIDER JUMP SCARE (right away)
In the spring, we tell the old stories again and again Con/Jur/d, 4/4/2026 Spring has been too much all winter practiced being dead forgot about the pain of rebirth how suicides rise with the sap don't blame those who are trying to escape, the tomb is empty in modern parlance because it’s prime real estate a perfect starter home, there will be condos on the hill Bernard now looks like a prophet who believed in the resurrection, and the punishment saying heaven was wishy-washy belief bullshit, intuiting 40 years ago how many Americans would practice, an unbreakable faith in hell, yet, skeptical of the grace Tim was murmuring Kierkegaard Bernard, running low on cocaine spat out the word, EXISTENTIALISM in his thick John da Baptist Norwegian accent, his warm van wrapped us in fish, stale beer yeasty men, brought to mind the allegory of the bird flying through the ancestral Viking lodge, the hope of Christ escaping into the cold beyond sans furs, family, or the retreat to Normandy THINK you know something about suffering about the shape of this thing, this life? do you? Jack his buddy, met and bonded in the Alaskan PTSD self-medicating underground, after each of their wars ended officially, leaving their gyri with endless skirmishes and adrenal GABAgeric loops, tried to steady him, grabbed a shoulder - I was sent over as a farming consultant, agriculturist, he said, lived, ate with those people fooled around, planted, drank, smoked compared, contrasted methods, and one day a voice over the static tells me, tells me, someone or someones is Vietcong and I don’t know who was, who is, who will become who who pretends to like me, plans on killing me false drinkers!, false laughter, the seeds sprout lies! FALSE false friends, lovers and it is April when we should be planting, planning we’re just picking and sharing fruit from spilling from the jungle, sharing like we were all communists (the ones we’re here to fight) and if they can behave this way, hard to ignore, to separate us and them WE GREW THE BIGGEST RADISHES YOU EVER SAW and what a shame, you know someone was going to slit my throat, and for a moment, nodding on some local sap, considered going back to being fertilizer, I couldn't I couldn't, tell them apart, so i killed them all, I KILLED THEM ALL! he was shouting now and we ran and ran into the outlines of trees, air thick with mosquitoes, moose left Jack was hugging him, left snot and tears, undone by bright ALASKAN STARS the aurora borealis threatens to take us into the dark/dark, over the EDGE we can't fall off, Tim yells, stretching out his arms taking the position: TO FALL TO FLY
Much love,
Con/Jur/d, 4/4/2025