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Countdown

12/27/2021 all our lives

Con/Jur/d

Dec 27, 2021

**The Yellow Christ — A liberated NFT from the Albright Knox Gallery in Buffalo, NY (2012)**

I’m tired of the countdowns we do — the developmental stages — the stories of success and failure — the narratives of aging — I can’t wear those shoes anymore — they’ll hurt my knees — my back

Even wearing them then — visiting buffalo for the first time in almost 30 years — because I had lost so much weight — I was trying to deny the countdown — to say “I’m from California now! You can’t keep me here with your water laced with Hooker Chemical pheromones — Or a million distractions wanted and unwanted — but I can still wear the shoes!”

And the city couldn’t hold me — and for a moment fooled myself thought the countdown had stopped — Mckenna’s ‘End of History’ countdown was just a bunch of phooey — a decade later — 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3 2 & 1 — years since I moved here from California — days ‘til we head to Belize — minutes until the inevitable compression

**One gets the impression if one could just stop the countdown or the reciprocal — it simply wouldn’t happen — so I was surprised I was moved enough by the Charles Olson poem to write a response**

After reading Maximus, from Dogtown II
Con/Jur/d, 12/27/2021

Charles Olson, Charles Olson
I’ve forgotten everything I knew
about you Charles Olson. I can
hear the music Charles If I may

call you Charles? You died in
Buffalo, blaming Buffalo,
And I get what you’re say --
ing, having failed 

undergrad there. Of course there
were extraordinary circumstances
not fate -- not fate -- not fate
never fate Charles,

nor, should I quote the poem
since I can’t explain why, how
where it affected me so, and 
when                 he says, “

listen to what 
I’m trying to communicate
not where you disagree”
we get what he’s saying

between, between the rising
and the lost tide, which angers
you Charles, angry about
a lost sea gone, gone away

before the glaciers pulled
back into Deep Time,
unable to take a sip
of fresh, unsweetened

unsalted  water since
your wife died, and
you moved beneath
the              waves

here in Dogtown,
Charles Olson
Charles Olson
Charles Olson.

**The next day there’s this — what did you think we were counting to?**

Freezing rain is falling, all that moves stiffens,

and stops.

Much Love,

Con/Jur/d, 12/27/2021

1 Comment

PMO Admin

Dec 28, 2021Liked by Con/Jur/d

Countdowns … Everybody just copies everybody else. “When I retire …” Really??? You’re sure you’ll be in good health and you’ll be living large from all your rock-solid investments? That’s always how it works out? No one ever dies before that happens or suffers any kind of setback? Milestones … part of the delusion? Idk.

As for that guy with the need money for kung-fu lessons sign, many times I’ve been approached and hustled for bus fare. It’s always for bus fare. I tell them I don’t give money for bus fare, that I only give money for drugs and alcohol. I then hand over the money: your request has been granted.

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