Another day of frustrated ambition

2. The Pivot

That’s the feel of the day. Temporal distortion, accompanied by a melancholy of the Now; from, by, and for Now. As if the trail from the Zendo will suddenly lead to a completely new vista, previously unmarred by your optical tracks:

But the trail is long and offers many challenges:

It’s slippery with disconcerting loops and lapses:

As the bear said upon reaching the peak, “The other side of the mountain is what I see.”

I’m not sure what the purpose of a goal is?

Embracing melancholy, it too is hollow & empty all the way up and all the way down.

I think a better metaphor may be derived from the ‘Chronicles of Amber’ where in order to travel through the Shadow Worlds you need to walk the Pattern. You need to keep going past the point of giving up, past the point of impossibility, and then only then when everything has failed do you step through.

Returning to where you’ve always been but different.

I was told by a Gurdjieff-trickster who I met when I first vagabonded my way to San Francisco while I was re-negotiating my baseline after a reconstructive psilocybin experience and throwing pebbles into a still pool in the Golden Gate Park’s Botanical Gardens, “It doesn’t matter how many times you fall down, it’s still your path. There is nowhere else to fall but on your path.” Of course, back then we didn’t record the minutiae of our lives.